gnat surfaces

alright so me being m.i.a. is not a new thing, we all know this - in any case, here's a recap of what happened after i unplugged the router and went offline two weeks ago.

we packed. and packed, and packed, and packed.

everything in the apartment broke at the same time - no kidding, the kitchen sink stopped up, we blew a fuse in the hallway, the microwave mysteriously refused to turn on... it knew we were vacating and it was not happy about it. i spent several hours plunging and cursing and fiddling with circuit breakers, all to no avail.

we packed some more. well, cara packed, i plunged.

...cara had a lot of things to pack.

i had fewer things to pack, which managed to fit in a few suitcases... with a little finagling.

i took a break from the packing and plunging and finagling to say goodbye to some friends over pizza.

finally, we managed to empty the apartment.

the last thing to come down was the chicago skyline. because we were sleep deprived and it seemed poetic at the time, each of us took down one of the three panels: eileen the first,

cara the middle,

and myself last.

and then it was time to go.

these pictures don't really capture the utter disaster that our moving day actually was - when i say we were sleep deprived, i really mean we hadn't slept properly in a few days (cara hadn't slept period), we stupidly packed the kitchen first thing in the morning and couldn't feed ourselves despite having a fridge full of lovely things like eggs and milk, the movers were hours and hours late, and as i've mentioned before things just stopped working left and right. to top it off, my girl guy must have known we were going because he started up before 8am and didn't quit all day.

i suppose none of this matters anymore, because we don't live there anymore.

anyway!

we moved. i am no longer a chicago resident. this may cause you to wonder what's going to happen to gnat's chicago experiment, a blog about my life in chicago. fear not! i have plenty of backlogged adventures that never made it into posts, so i have enough material to keep the blog afloat for a bit (provided i ever get around to writing it down).

so goodbye for now, from california, more chicago adventures coming soon.

gnat throws everything away

thus begins a series of painful moments where i hesitate to get rid of something, then convince myself there's no reason i should continue to own it. this happened last night with several items of clothing, half finished paintings, and the bag of togas and laurels i made for greekstravaganza 1.0. just now, i parted with this friend and needed a forum to say a proper goodbye. here goes:

dear ING cafe mug,

you have been integral to my success as a graduate student. without you, i would have had to pay full price for my coffee during the long, long hours i spent at ING writing my thesis and people watching through the large glorious windows. i would have had no vessel with which to transport my delicious hazelnut coffee from my apartment to work every morning. you have been an excellent friend, and you will be missed.

love,

gnat

in the last 12 hours, the microwave has broken, the lights in the hallway went out, and the kitchen sink up and decided to quit on us. all the pans were packed away before we made breakfast, so we ended up eating clif bars and mike and ikes for breakfast. moving sucks.

more updates to come, i'm sure, as cara and i continue to deal with this:

wish me luck.

gnat relives the move, in reverse

so, there's a lot of this happening these days:

there's been a sort of sad reciprocity between the last week or so and my first few weeks in chicago. just as when i first moved here, most of my things are in suitcases or boxes or in california. i'm on craigslist constantly, only now trying to get rid of the furniture rather than collecting it. my days aren't very structured, again. i spend a lot of time wandering around - the difference of course being that now i know exactly where i am and where i'm going... and how to get back. i've reverted to my touristing ways, now desperate to soak up every experience i know i am having for the last time as a chicago resident; things as stupid and small as taking the el or walking down michigan avenue have suddenly become novel again. everywhere there are reminders of things that have happened in the two years i've been here, good and bad.

like before, i've been doing my best to pawn off as many of my belongings as possible to friends and find alternative solutions for everything that's left. i don't have bobby (my trusty nissan sentra) to take me home this time, so i'm stuck boxing and shipping anything that's worth the postage and leaving everything else. as moving day gets closer, the level of importance an item requires to warrant an airmail trip home gets higher and higher.

my girl guy has really been at it these last few days. this morning he started singing at 8am, forcing me to get out of bed and close my window and to wonder whether or not i'll miss him.

gnat faces her impending move

i spent the morning putting up the craigslist ad, responding to requests to show the apartment, packing up the things i won't need over the next few weeks, and creating a list of things i need to pawn off on somebody before i leave. the list is more than a little haphazard, and putting it together reminded me of the first entry i ever posted on this blog as i prepared to leave los angeles:

things gnat needs to work up the nerve to throw away today:
- "bison" colored can of paint. ("bison" is a nicer description, it seems, for the color of crap. it's a can of crap colored paint.)
- four sets of banged up but still functional plastic drawers.
- 17284392925 plastic hangers. can i donate these? sell them back to target?
- a pirate flag. yep, a pirate flag.
- pennies. a billion pennies. wtf, pennies. i can't even use you to do my laundry. you suck.


it's funny, i find myself again needing to get rid of 17284392925 plastic hangers and approximately a billion pennies. seriously, pennies. wtf.

i came here two years ago with two suitcases and nothing else, how in the name of all the plastic hangers in all the gin joints in all the world did i amass so much stuff? if you or anyone you know in the greater chicago area can find any use for an easel, a robin hood costume (complete with bow and arrows and teddy bear little john), or the aforementioned hangers please let me know.

i'm already experiencing separation anxiety.

gnat breaks radio silence

happy new year! did you miss me?

so, i'm still in california, albeit only for about 20 hours longer. my boarding pass has been printed, my laundry is done, things are mostly sorted and packed. the weather has been checked - no snow in the forecast, so fingers crossed for no delays. tomorrow's high will be 19 degrees. ("feels like" 7. excellent.) lets be real kids, this is probably the last entry i will write for months in which i don't complain about how miserably cold i am. brace yourselves, i know i am.

i never make new years resolutions but i decided to make one this year, which is to take more initiative in exploring and enjoying chicago. my january wishlist includes but is not limited to the following:

- blackhawks game, preferably with someone who a) understands hockey and b) is patient enough not to care that i will require constant explanation of the action

- revisiting al's #1 beef (remember why?)

- snow days chicago, which includes a snow sculpting competition. and dog sled races. why not?

- field museum

- hot doug's. (how have i still not been here? duck fat fries that don't result in unsightly and uncomfortable duck fat blisters, yes please!)

stay tuned for these adventures and more, and to find out if my girl guy is still standing out there singing even though it's 13 degrees below freezing!

gnat prepares for her last day in california

yes, the one month mark of my california stay is fast approaching and with it my impending return to chicago. here's a sampling of the things i did while i was here:

i spent the first week fluishly and furiously (like fast and furious but with more phlegm) knitting from the couch in my parents' living room.

i made my way south to LA and back (twice) to see some of my favorite people and eat some of my favorite foods, including this pizza from enzo's in westwood:

it's just so damn satisfying.

i visited san diego and celebrated maya's birthday and larry's newly awarded permanent residency. (hooray for no longer having to worry that he'll get deported!)

can you find anything wrong with this picture?

i saw some free (well, almost free) music that would have caused 15 year old me to flip out at the del mar racetrack:

i collected some evidence that we have seasons here in california, too:

and, perhaps because i've begun to miss living right on top of a purveyor of silly flavored cupcakes, i baked.

blue moon orange with honey cream cheese frosting:

and irish car bomb cupcakes (guiness chocolate cake, whiskey ganache filling, bailey's buttercream frosting) for very late celebrating of daniel's birthday.

all of this and more! sadly most of the trip went undocumented, owing to carmine's accident early on. he couldn't be fixed, so tomorrow i'll pick up his replacement - carmine II. thank you, accidental damage warranty. also tomorrow, packing. not looking forward to that.

stay tuned, only one more day before gnat's chicago experiment is actually about chicago again.

gnat swears this will get easier (right?)

the last two days have been, well...

rough.

moving across the country to a city where you know exactly one person, a person who is really busy, is not easy. i knew it wasn't going to be when i decided to do it, but i guess i didn't quite expect this. it's only day two, and it wouldn't be all that fair to say i was trying my hardest to get out there and enjoy the city because i haven't but still... there is a big part of me that wants to admit defeat, pack up the little bit of stuff that i've unpacked, and head back to california.

in the meantime i've been applying for jobs and volunteer positions, looking for classes (what kind of classes you ask? cooking, music, knitting, improv, basically you name it and i'm interested), and checking out chicago social networking opportunities.

i just need to make it a few more days and then all of this will get easier. i think. i hope. no, i know.

on a lighter note, last night daniel and i went to a pretty awesome free concert in the park. we saw el ritmo de la vida with doc severinsen, who used to play trumpet for johnny carson on the tonight show. hes completely awesome. and he performed in pink leather pants.

and finally, by request, the view from my apartment which is, sadly, far less spectacular than the view from daniel's:

gnat gets mixed signals

after spending the preceding few days dealing with this:

yesterday i did one final pack/repack/repack-again/realize-there-was-more-stuff-in-the-laundry-and-repack-some-more and headed with mom to SFO. the first leg of the trip (san francisco to las vegas) was super turbulent but otherwise fine. no sooner had i lined up at my gate for leg two (las vegas to chicago midway) than an announcement came over the speaker that we were being grounded due to weather conditions. weather in chicago. thunderstorms and a tornado watch. wtf? tornado watch? you must be joking.

by this point i'm beginning to think that hey, maybe chicago doesn't want me. maybe it's trying to keep me on the west coast where i belong. the delay was only an hour, though, and the flight into chicago was, well, long. i was sandwiched between a larger gentleman whose left arm found its way into my seat every time he dozed off and a twitchy lady who reeked of cigarettes and obviously was hurting for one pretty badly, she chewed an entire pack of gum one stick at a time over the 3 hour flight.

i deplaned and immediately found myself surrounded by banners proclaiming "we're glad you're here!" from mayor daley. the MAYOR is glad i'm here.

the mayor may have gotten his wires crossed though. after waiting for an hour in a cab line that ran the length of the terminal, i wind up with a driver who starts talking shit about me to his buddy on the phone as soon as i tell him where i'm going. in arabic. in egyptian arabic. so not only is this guy a tool, he's also an idiot. he made it through about 8 minutes before he had to hang up because his battaraya khelset (his battery died). i paused for a moment then asked "so you are egyptian? me too." he shot me a pretty awful "oh crap" look then turned the radio up and left it up for the rest of the trip. he was really nice about helping me get my bags out of the car. then i met up with ANOTHER egyptian (a nicer one, though) who i had kept up waiting for me with all of the "adventuring" i had been doing.

so here i am. daniel left for work, i'm supposed to be gathering my things and heading on to the new apartment but all i really want to do is take a nap. here's the view from the window in his room:

kinda neat, huh?

gnat makes do with the leftovers

and i don't just mean food.

i thought i had done an ok job of holding onto the stuff i would need this week, but more than once i've found myself madly searching for a sweater or a pair of shoes before realizing it was long gone, or intended to watch a movie while cleaning before realizing that i am no longer an owner of dvds.

but yeah, also the food thing. day one of "cook everything that's left in the kitchen" was easy enough, although more than once during the cooking process i reached for oregano or cayenne pepper before remembering that i had already bequeathed all of my spices (with the exception of a small amount of kosher salt) to the cousins. today i managed steamed zucchini, roasted garlic risotto (i'm not sure if you can call it risotto if you use a combination of short grain, medium grain, and long grain rices but it looked like risotto and it tasted like risotto, hodgepodge though it was) and panko breaded chicken with dill. this promises to get more difficult as the contents of my fridge and pantry dwindle.

in other news, sleeping on the floor is beginning to take its toll on my neck and shoulder area happiness. more on this, i'm sure, after i do it for several more days.

gnat attempts to divest herself of as many possessions as possible

all of the furniture is gone and everything is boxed, bagged, or suitcased with the exception of clothes and items i'll need this week and some random knick-knacks i'm still hoping to pawn off on friends and family before i go. i unloaded the plastic hangers and a large percentage of my pantry and spice rack, as well as my tv and dvd player, to the cousins today, found a clever hiding place within the apartment to leave the paint, and procured a vacuum cleaner strong enough to pull all of the dust from the carpet thats been hidden in the crevices between furniture and wall. (gross, i know.)

it wasn't until i had done all of these things and paused to feel extremely satisfied with my progress that i remembered i will still be living here for another week, and now without the luxury of distraction that's been provided thus far by packing. it's been like a game, almost, a race to find a place for everything to go. i've been putting off the saying goodbyes stuff for at least a week now with the self-directed excuse that i needed to get things in order here at the apartment first. what comes next is the sorta nice but mostly crappy part, where is awesome to see everyone and hang out but with the caveat that it's the last time i'll get to do it for a long time.

actually, i just noticed that i lied. ALL of the furniture isn't gone. there's still a chair that i found on the sidewalk in front of my apartment four years ago. one of the legs was falling off but i reattached with with some haphazardly applied wood glue and a few carelessly placed nails. i guess maybe i'll put it back on the street where it came from, maybe someone else will get as much use out of it as i did.

dammit, i gave the tv away and now i can't watch good eats while i fall asleep. that was bad planning.

gnat walks the fine line between avoiding waste and having a hoarding disorder

i hate packing. i have packed boxes and boxes and boxes and still i can only see about one square foot of bedroom underneath all of the crap. crap i have no earthly idea what to do with. crap that i know i haven't seen in five years which feels impossible because it's only been two since last time i moved. how did i accumulate so much stuff? i don't want to keep it but i feel intensely guilty for wanting to throw it away, it's not bad, or old, it's just useless, to me at least. i wish i could find homes for all of it but there just isn't time...

at least packing is keeping my mind off how much i am freaking out about moving. something else to focus on.

ugh. it's going to be a rough week.

things gnat needs to work up the nerve to throw away today:

- "bison" colored can of paint. ("bison" is a nicer description, it seems, for the color of crap. it's a can of crap colored paint.)

- four sets of banged up but still functional plastic drawers.

- 17284392925 plastic hangers. can i donate these? sell them back to target?

- a pirate flag. yep, a pirate flag.

- pennies. a billion pennies. wtf, pennies. i can't even use you to do my laundry. you suck.