gnat procrastinates

coming to you live from elly's, where i am sitting in the corner (creepily taking covert pictures with my phone) attempting to get some work done.

i am outfitted with an endless supply of decaf and bopping to the 80s pop pandora station over the speakers. send me your productivity vibes, internets!

gnat learns the meaning of the word "humidity"

guys. seriously. guys.

it is miserable outside.

according to weather.com, it is 96 degrees out with 51% humidity. and this is an improvement over yesterday. AN IMPROVEMENT, PEOPLE. yesterday when i left the apartment it was 103 degrees with 83% humidity. how is that even possible?

in case you are, like i was before this week, not familiar with what 103 degrees and 83% humidity feels like, imagine that you are taking a shower wearing all your clothes. a very hot shower. and there's a ton of steam. and instead of being in the comfort of your own bathroom, you are outdoors and the sun is pounding on you, 103 degrees fahrenheit of pounding sun hitting you, surrounded by steam, in all your clothes, taking a very hot shower. that is what 103 degrees and 83% humidity feels like. and at the end of this hot, steamy, clothed, poundy sun shower, instead of being nice and clean you are sticky and drenched in sweat. disgusting. now imagine trying to breathe in that nonsense. it's enough to make a girl wish she had gills.

because i do NOT have gills, today i am staying holed up in my beautiful air conditioned apartment pretending to work. unfortunately i am experiencing intense writer's block, which is why i've been absent from blogging for several weeks despite having gone on many blogable chicago adventures. send me your writing vibes, internets.

gnat promises better blogging

yes, i've been absent for almost a month now. i promise - it was for a good reason.

you may recall at the end of my last post, during which i gleefully announced the beginning of summer, that i said this:

"stay tuned for more whining when the weather takes its inevitable sharp downturn and i am forced to wear a jacket again for several more weeks."

well folks, i was right. after three or four days of gorgeous weather that almost made me forget i was upset that winter ever happened in the first place, chicago chuckled and slapped me across the face with more cold. remember the beautiful tulips? most of them were beheaded by 90mph winds. (i made that number up, but it feels about right.) the ones that weren't ended up looking like this:

so, as the temperature dipped back down to 39 degrees (i didn't make this number up. on the evening of may 26 it was 39 degrees in chicago, which would make me less upset if it had not, at the same moment, been 69 degrees in anchorage, alaska...) i made a calculated decision not to update, knowing that if i opened this window all i would do was curse this whole city and swear up and down to move as soon as opportunity struck. rather than subject you all to (more) diatribes against chicago and all of its inhabitants i waited for summer to actually arrive and improve my spirits before blogging again.

you're welcome.

anyway, it has been consistently beautiful out for several days now and i have been in a consistently excellent mood. i have a long wishlist of chicago adventures which i will be executing in a calculated and methodical fashion (lies) so that i have things of substance to tell you about outside of the weather, how bad the weather is, and what a horrible mood the bad weather puts me in. get excited.

gnat (begrudgingly) catches up

i am experiencing writer's block.

gnat's chicago experiment has been m.i.a. for a few weeks now, and not owing to lack of material. i keep opening blogger, staring at the empty white box for several minutes, getting disheartened, and giving up in favor of stumbleupon or something else that requires no creative input on my part. sadly even now i'm having trouble coming up with exciting things to say about the exciting things i've done since my last update. you'll have to bear with me.

so yeah... st. patrick's day happened.

every year chicago dyes a stretch of the river green in celebration of st. patrick's day. (los angeles, which lacks both a river and a sufficient non-brown population to be very interested in recoloring it, dyes a few pints of miller lite green instead.)

...gross.

the previous weekend i tagged along with taylor and eileen to st. louis for mardi gras (another holiday los angeles is completely uninterested in) where i enjoyed gumbo, beverages in squirt guns, and entertaining encounters with fellow fat tuesday revelers in the streets of historic soulard.

here's a picture of some beads in a tree. i have absolutely nothing clever to say about them.

before leaving st. louis we stopped at the arch, where taylor and eileen (former resident and frequent visitor, respectively) sat looking entertained as i frolicked in the grass and took pictures from every possible angle...

...including the obligatory "pushing on the arch" shot below.

en route back to chicago we stopped in springfield, the capital of illinois and my former place of residence! also the home of abraham lincoln and one of the stranger sandwiches i have encountered in my sandwich eating career: the horseshoe.

two pieces of toasted white bread, topped with a hamburger patty and a handful of french fries and then drizzled with cheese sauce. i don't know who thought these four food items would go well together, nor am i sure it can really be called a sandwich. mostly i am mystified as to why it's called a horseshoe. (wikipedia offers no guidance on this issue.)

also in springfield, my old house!

yep, that's where i lived when i was three, during gnat's illinois residency round 1. the walgreen's around the corner that i used to ride my red tricycle to is still there.

i've been spring break-ing in california for a little over a week, but will be returning shortly to chicago for more adventures. here's to hoping the blogging deities bestow some fluency upon me between now and my next update.